Depression can SINK relationSHIPS

Depression affects an estimated 19 million Americans each year, and because most people are involved in relationships, the “ripple-effect” is evident. Loved ones of those living with depression often feel bewildered, frustrated and even helpless. Because depression is so unique to an individual, and can manifest itself in varying degrees of intensity, it often has an alienating affect on spouses, partners, children, siblings and friends. The ones closest to the Depressed are often on “the front lines” of the depression battlefield, and they are sometimes unarmed with the necessary tools to cope. Compassion fatigue, a term used to describe those caregivers who have been unknowingly drained by another’s illness or care-needs, is often the result. It can test even the most secure of relationships. The good news is that depression is very treatable and by taking the appropriate steps to combat the illness, your relationship can survive.

Relationship survival tips:

If you are in a relationship with someone who has Depression, proactively prompt your loved one to seek professional help. Encourage them to move in a positive direction - TOWARD the light; not into the darkness. Sometimes several friends or other family members may be needed to help you intervene. Don’t go it alone if you don’t have to!

Instead of ultimatums, give your depressed loved one some options. Many times small steps toward recovery are more feasible than huge ones. For example, you may say “Which sounds more do-able to you: Going to a support group or seeing a therapist?” Choices help the individual to be empowered to help themselves. Even small decisions they can make are a step in the healthy-direction.

Educate yourself on this illness - it is just as real as any other. This is a medical condition involving brain chemistry and other biopsychosocial conditions that can be fatal when not treated. DO NOT think that your loved one can merely “pull them selves together, or snap out of it”. This is the most hurtful attitude you can provide for them, and they begin to spiral downward into despair, because they can no more “snap-out” of Depression, than you could “snap-out” of Diabetes.

Caring for a depressed person, whether they are your child, lover, parent, or employee, can be precarious because you must keep an eye on your own health and well-being first, and then monitor/assist the identified patient. It is similar to the airline-analogy: The flight attendant always instructs you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then onto your child. You can’t give away what you don’t have, and therefore you must refresh your own spirit before you can revive another’s. Good luck and Good Loving - and thank you for caring enough to want to help those who suffer from depression. We really appreciate you, even though we may not be able to express that all of the time!

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